Starting point on January 1st 161.2
Today 152. 4
I literally held my breath this morning, sure that my weight would not be down and sorry that I would be failing my friends, but by total grace I was down from last week.
This is so undeserved after I had a week of weakness, but I am so grateful as it has encouraged me to get back on the horse!
Joyful's post on her relationship with food made me think about my own root issues. I'm not sure that I've pinned them down. I probably need to dig deeper, but if there's an addictive gene I'm sure it resides in our family.
Both of my parents smoked throughout my childhood (it did nothing to stunt my growth however!) and alcohol wreaked much unhappiness in our household.
I didn't start smoking myself, or drink enough to become addicted, for which I am ever grateful, but I think that tendency to find solace and comfort in something mindless, morphed in me to eating.
We certainly ate healthily, supplemented by vitamins and cod liver oil (which I loved!), but both my brother and I have a weakness for "feeding frenzies" with chocolate and cookies.
Is there an "addictive stronghold?" I don't know. Maybe that would be too easy and excuse.
Last night I left work having had a good day, but when I got home, Paul didn't want a cooked meal so I made peanut butter on toast for my own supper and threw in some cookies (those good old Peak Freens) and anything else I could quickly lay my hands on to fill the void. Fortunately I was saved from total disaster by going out to help a friend move, which took me out of the house for three hours and I managed to not eat when I got home!
So here I go into week 15 feeling encouraged by the fact that two weak weeks aren't my whole life. But also wanting to break a cyclical pattern that I'm seeing.
I may be going at a turtle's pace but I have gone down and I am encouraged anew to keep at it. And I'm hoping to gain insight as I go.
For Shan I have to say this. It isn't so much about being thinner (although I confess I would like to be by about 10 lb), but about breaking the back of my eating problem--because I do have one. If I hadn't started this journey in January, I would no doubt be 12 to 15 pounds heavier than I am now and unhappy with myself and the fact that nothing I owned would fit.
I would love ideas on what to do when the urge to binge hits in the evening. That's my tough time.
Well, onward into a new week!