Tuesday, 8 April 2008

The Second of Two Weak Weeks (week 15 check in)

Starting point on January 1st 161.2
Today 152. 4

I literally held my breath this morning, sure that my weight would not be down and sorry that I would be failing my friends, but by total grace I was down from last week.

This is so undeserved after I had a week of weakness, but I am so grateful as it has encouraged me to get back on the horse!

Joyful's post on her relationship with food made me think about my own root issues. I'm not sure that I've pinned them down. I probably need to dig deeper, but if there's an addictive gene I'm sure it resides in our family.

Both of my parents smoked throughout my childhood (it did nothing to stunt my growth however!) and alcohol wreaked much unhappiness in our household.

I didn't start smoking myself, or drink enough to become addicted, for which I am ever grateful, but I think that tendency to find solace and comfort in something mindless, morphed in me to eating.

We certainly ate healthily, supplemented by vitamins and cod liver oil (which I loved!), but both my brother and I have a weakness for "feeding frenzies" with chocolate and cookies.

Is there an "addictive stronghold?" I don't know. Maybe that would be too easy and excuse.

Last night I left work having had a good day, but when I got home, Paul didn't want a cooked meal so I made peanut butter on toast for my own supper and threw in some cookies (those good old Peak Freens) and anything else I could quickly lay my hands on to fill the void. Fortunately I was saved from total disaster by going out to help a friend move, which took me out of the house for three hours and I managed to not eat when I got home!

So here I go into week 15 feeling encouraged by the fact that two weak weeks aren't my whole life. But also wanting to break a cyclical pattern that I'm seeing.

I may be going at a turtle's pace but I have gone down and I am encouraged anew to keep at it. And I'm hoping to gain insight as I go.

For Shan I have to say this. It isn't so much about being thinner (although I confess I would like to be by about 10 lb), but about breaking the back of my eating problem--because I do have one. If I hadn't started this journey in January, I would no doubt be 12 to 15 pounds heavier than I am now and unhappy with myself and the fact that nothing I owned would fit.

I would love ideas on what to do when the urge to binge hits in the evening. That's my tough time.

Well, onward into a new week!


Joyful Fox said...

Hi Belinda,

Cravings or binging in the evening (or at other times) is a big problem for a lot of us.

The info. I've just been reading, "No-Fail Diet"
suggests 2 solutions:

1)Eating every 3 hours so you're always satiated - i.e. you don't come home from work ravenous and low energy and stick a quick easy snack in your mouth
2) Ensure every time you eat, you always have a protein (5 times a day)

e.g. eating protein every 3 hours. i.e. 5 almonds, a tablespoon of peanut butter or cream cheese, a small cube of cheese, a hard-boiled egg, a ryvita cracker with a tbsp. of hummus etc. If your breakfast is at 7:00 a.m., you'd snack at 10:00 (with protein) and eat lunch at 1:00 p.m. (snack at 3:30 p.m.- perhaps an apple and 5 almonds) and then eat supper at 6:00 p.m. Lesley Beck suggests eating after 8:00 p.m. as a rare occasion, not a lifestyle (so you completely finish dinner and dessert by 8:00p.m.)

I've just read this info. and it involves pre-planning and preparing (so you are aware of the time and have though-out snacks). So far I haven't made the time to do that on a daily basis but I could see it happening.

My goal right now is to have 3 meals plus a mid-afternoon snack and a mid-morning one. We'll work the proteins in later.

I do feel overwhelmed by the counting of points, pre-planning etc. on top of my too-busy lifestyle. I can see why Lesley Beck asks at the on-set of her book, Is this the right time for you to lose weight?

For me, like you, I know I'm doing better to have started and being accountable with all of you on this blog. It definitely is harder, and more work than I originally planned.

I am 161 lbs. now which means for the last 5 weeks I've only lost 8 lbs. I thought I'd have lost 13 lbs. by now (minimum). For the last 3 weeks I've lost and gained and played with the same 3 lbs. in various scenarios and it is very discouraging. I know I'd be really encouraged if I could break the 160 lbs. barrier and stay out of the "160's" altogether. I'm trying to encourage myself in that vein but I binge when Im stressed or cycling so...that's where I'm at. I'm trying not to beat myself up and go one choice at a time.

Anyways...hopefully Lesley Beck's info. might bear fruit in our lives if we can just implement it.

I have to consciously remind myself, as you've pointed out, I'm in this for the long haul. The binges, busy weeks, cravings, monthly cycles are all part of winning in the long run.

Belinda said...

Thanks for the ideas Joyful. I hope you can break through the barrier this week.

I can see how eating protein might help me to get through those perilous evening hours and I'll try to reach for that instead of empty calories that don't satisfy.

Shan said...

Protein - totally works. For me, if I don't have protein in the morning, specifically, I crave all evening.

I hardly ever eat after dinner...I think it's because I eat a fair bit for breakfast. But if I skip breakfast or leave it too late, I end up hungry late at night. If that happens, my go-to snack is cold Ovaltine in skim milk (which I think is nectar and ambrosia) and a banana. I don't feel bad about eating that, at all. And the protein in the milk helps me sleep.