Thursday, 2 October 2008

Still Stopping the Slide

Dear Friends,
It's been a busy three weeks, but the dust is settling and here I am again.

I must confess that the week after I had a bout with a stomach bug and was down to 149.8, I didn't want to confess that once I stopped having the runs as often, I was back up to 152.8. The two weeks since then I have been 151.8, and this week I'm slowly edging down. Maybe next Tuesday I will have something more inspiring to report in terms of weight loss, but the real battle isn't on the scale at all, but in my head.

I was talking to Libby this morning about that; how we seem to hit an invisible barrier that is hard to get beyond. If I really want to get beyond where I am, icecream, high fat cookies, pie and chocolate bars, cannot be part of my every day life and I have to ask myself which I want more, because I can't have both. I do want to shed the 10 pounds that represent icecream, cookies and chocolate. A day every now and then, even once a week, where that rule is broken, won't upset 6 days of a healthier pattern. Can I do it? Do I really want to? Or am I just fooling myself and content to stay as I am.

At this moment at least, I really want to. I can only take it moment by moment and try to make choices that are consistent with my goal, knowing that it will take a lifetime of living this way to stay where I want to be once I get there. So I'm trying. And I'm drinking more water after talking to Libby, who tells me that it really does make a difference.

Shan, I gave up the push ups. How are you doing? I would like to try again; I haven't done a lot of walking either. I do have a new time management plan that I'm working on. This may help with fitting in more exercise more faithfully.


Shan said...

The push ups...I have been sick for two and a half weeks! The muscle weakness is brutal - I moved the couch yesterday and had to lie down for twenty minutes. So, I haven't exercised at all for two weeks. I've missed two dance classes. I'll be starting push ups again when I'm well, but I'll be starting at the beginning!

I feel your pain about the "which do I want more", because lately it has been borne in on me that I can't have bread. I eat it a lot (toast, sandwiches, muffins, pancakes) and I don't think it agrees with me. Certainly it keeps me heavy...that much is obvious.

Belinda said...

You poor thing Shan. I'm so sorry you've been sick. I pray you get better soon.

As for your muscle weakness, yes, it would have been impossible to do pushups. I must confess when I had my jelly arms a few weeks ago, I thought of you knitting and wondering how those two things would go together!